Everybody Loves Bee Chapter 17
by Lights321
Summary: I am unable to update chapters on the main story, as Fanfiction is currently hating me. So enjoy chapter 17 of Everybody Loves Bee


_Author-Chan: Wow, OK, I am so unbelievably PUMPED right now! You have no idea what the heck I just did to Princess Light's laptop!_

_Angsty: What did you do?_

_Author-Chan: I DELETED WHAT PRINCESS LIGHTS WROTE FOR BEE'S RETURN TO TO AUTOBUM'S! XD_

_Mystery: I guess that explains why Princess was in the fetal position and crying for the last few weeks. ^_^_

_Normal: At least she managed to pull herself together._

Magic: Well, time to answer a few questions *Transforms into Unicron and floats off*

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Bee woke up, his body completely paralyzed with stress. He glanced around wildly, expecting to see a purple void.

Instead, he found himself sitting in the science lab, his head in Starscream's lap and Megatron looking a bit worried. Bumblebee and Starscream were sprawled out on the ground, and Shockwave immediately ran over and scanned them both.

Shockwave let out a groan that could have been a sigh. "No damages in the processor, just the normal universe residue and the shut down of the processor that cannot handle the different universal currents."

Bee blinked and looked around him his optics wide and wondering. Was the episode with Unicron just a dream? With all the interfacing he did, he wouldn't be one bit surprised if he had a vividly explicit dream.

Bee tried to push himself up, but his arms collapsed and he shifted uncomfortably. His limbs felt extremely weak, and his processor was weary.

Megatron seemed to notice and picked Bee up, depositing the scout in medical berth and Shockwave used the monitor to get some more accurate scans.

Starscream suddenly realized that Shockwave was the one who had teleported them to the alternative universe, and instantly started ranting and raving toward the scientist, threatening to claw his single optic out. Shockwave was seemingly unaffected and went about doing his scans.

Megatron sat beside Bee in the berth and raised an eyebrow. Bumblebee sighed and began. "We got warped to an alternative universe it would seem. I don't think we got seen by anyone, but I passed out by the time me and Starscream... well, you know..."

Starscream barked a loud laugh behind Megatron and Bee. "Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about us not being seen!"

Bee swivelled his head around to stare at Starscream. "Are you saying we got seen?!"

The Seeker laughed and leaned on the monitor. "Well, after you passed out, I was still trying to wake you up, there were these bots that stumbled about us."

Bee turned pale. Oh no way...

Starscream threw his head back and guffawed. "I suppose I saw the Autobots in that alternative universe! The blue one was stunned into silence, and the gold one with a _gigantic_ chin was unfazed, the green one was blushing and a red; medic was it? Yes, that one was cursing me and hollering your name Bumblebee."

Starscream leaned on one hip and smirked into the empty air thinking. He had grabbed Bumblebee and flown the slag out of there before the medic had the chance to finish half of what he was saying. Though he could have sworn the gold and black one had quietly muttered to the blue one: "I _told_ you Bumblebee had wandered too close to that Seeker for comfort. And you told me to not worry about Bumblebee's future relationships..."

After that, he had washed the unconscious Bee up a bit. The portal appeared soon, but Bee had remained unconscious throughout everything. It had worried the Decepticons quite a bit, but thankfully the scout had woken up as soon as they stepped back into their realm.

Bee however, looked a little bit haunted. Was it because he was too hard on the little scout in the other world?

Bumblebee preoccupied himself with shifting around on the berth, his optics still half shuttled sleepily. For a dream, he still felt like there was this faint post-overload after-glow cocooning his body. Megatron ignored his two subordinates, and stood beside Bee, his face betraying the slightest hint of worry.

Bee smiled sleepily at the gladiator and the scout returned to observing everything around him. Shockwave was still running scans and the scientist's servo and rapidly running across the buttons. Starscream seemed to be lost in thought and his lips were pursed in an self-satisfied smirk.

It was pretty quiet in the science lab and Bee sighed as his optics drifted closed. It was often _so loud._..

Megatron looked at the recharging scout and he looked at Shockwave expectedly. The scientist appeared to give him an reassuring look. Megatron knew it was an reassuring look. Decades of time spent with Shockwave on his crew had helped him master the art of "seeing through the mask" as it were.

"My lord, the scout has simply gone into recharge. His systems are strangely depleted and he is simply tired. There are no problems, but perhaps Starscream was a little rougher then expected..?"

Starscream sputtered. "Lies! I simply berthed the scout _once_ and he fell asleep after he overloaded!"

Shockwave gave Starscream a look of utter disbelief. "Bumblebee fell unconscious after _one_overload? When he normally lasts beyond two?"

Starscream gave the scientist a wilting look. "And how would you know this?"

"_Enough_!"

Both 'Cons turned around at the sound of Megatron's voice. It wasn't necessarily a I'm-going-to-smelt-you-alive shout, merely an impatient one.

"Shockwave, what is your point? Perhaps Bee was tired from his previous... er... courtings."

Shockwave seemed a little bit wary. "Perhaps... he was. But the possibility of being tired within the other realm is out. Starscream is completely normal. _Unfortunately_..."

The last part was muttered and Starscream thankfully did not pick it up. "I did not let the scout out of my sight. For all the time we spent there Bee was within my arms."

Megatron rubbed the middle of his faceplates. "Let's just follow the explanation that Bee was more tired then we expected. Besides, he's going back to the Autobot's tomorrow. Let him rest."

The mood in the science lab plummeted further. Shockwave slumped a little bit more, Starscream's optics looked down toward the ground, and Megatron's counterpane seemed to darken further.

Meanwhile Bee slept, his dreams still filled with the laughing face of Unicron and the mysterious black femme.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

When Bee woke up, he stretched and yawned loudly, the yawn a systems reflex to online his vocalizer. Bee looked around. He was still in the science bay and his systems were strangely refreshed.

Bee stepped off the berth and stretched again, for the luxury of it. He didn't even realize why he was so happy until he read a datapad that Megatron had conveniently left on the bedside. It was a pretty simple message.

_Come down to the bridge Bee. It is time to go back to the Autobots._

Bee felt a wide smile nearly split his face. He could finally go back to his family! But...

His bright mood immediately plummeted toward earth and died. Now that he spent the majority of his time on the Nemesis, he was going to miss some of the mechs here.

As hard as it was to believe, interface was different then sex.

He remembered when Raf first discussed that with him. The poor boy was terribly embarrassed when Bee asked, and the mech found out something oddly disturbing.

The way humans and mechs interfaced was oddly similar. However, the similarities ended there. Bee was greatly disturbed at how seriously humans took interfacing.

When mechs interfaced, it was nearly one-sided. It was a personal and involved intimacy, yes, but it was way less serious then sex.

The only substitute Bee could find was sparkbonding. It was equivalent to marriage, and if Bee had to speak about it, he would be blushing and sputtering like Raf had too.

It was just another thing that he would never figure out about humans. If a mech forcibly interfaced with another, that mech would be trialed and perhaps imprisoned. _Spark raping_, he would be sentenced for life, if somebot didn't kill him first.

He was somewhat glad Optimus had forbidden anybot from discussing interfacing in the base. He wasn't sure if the kids could handle it. Maybe Miko could, but that girl was crazier and quirkier then a scraplet. Possibly more destructive too.

Miko did disturb him a little with her "yaoi" obsession. Raf was thankfully spared, but Jack took the full blunt. Bee was somewhat affected by various humans against same-gender (same-model) love, but he had accepted long ago accepted that there were crankshifts all over the universe.

Bee walked down the hall, still musing. He found himself down on the bridge sooner then he would have liked. It was the same as always but the atmosphere felt a little bit more sad then menacing.

Megatron nodded toward Bee and the scout waved back. Turning his head, he found Soundwave typing away at the monitor. Bee smiled and ran behind Soundwave to wrap his arms around the communications officer, the taller bot stiffening, then relaxing.

Bee had to admit, he felt a little bit of an attachment toward the silent mech. Soundwave was the first one to show him the world of interfacing after all. He felt thin fingers stroke the back of his head, and heard Laserbeak chirp softly.

Megatron made a gruff noise and Bee took the hint. He walked toward the tyrant and tilted his head with an impish grin. "So this is goodbye huh?"

Megatron simply snorted. "Make no mistake scout. As soon as those group of fools have finished waving their spikes around, I will come and kidnap you away where you _properly_ belong."

Bee stifled his laugh. "That doesn't surprise me a single bit."

Bee gasped as the spacebridge opened. With one last look at the Decepticons standing at the bridge, he ran toward the bridge and waved goodbye at everyone. With a finazl leap, he disappeared through the bridge...

...And spiralled down a familiar portal vortex.

Bee's mouth opened with shock as he gazed realized the familiar portal he was once again falling down inward.

_Unicron what the fra-_

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Bee opened his optics to find that he was once agin sitting within the living room he first encountered the femmes within. Only this time there were no femmes. Simply Unicron sitting on another couch directly opposite of him and a small green and purple femme clutched to his side. She was a small flyer, and her faceplates dominated by a purple blush. She was simply pressing both her fingers together and silently mumbling. Bee was only temporarily stunned.

"Who's that?" Bee asked a single optic brow raised. Unicorn glanced down at the flyer pressed against his side and smiled. He ran a finger down her wings and smirked wickedly at her tiny squeak.

"Oh, this is Kōzui. Naughty girl was spying on us while I was... further acquainting myself with you."

Bee glanced down at the squeaking femme who was starting to squirm within her seat, mumbling apologies. "_Uh huh._ So, if we're done molesting the pretty flyer's, can we please got onto the topic of why you dragged me back here?"

Unicron tutted and allowed Kōzui to get up from the counch and wiggle away. He gave her a loud smack on the aft, and she ran away toward the exit, covering her face, while squeaking with embarrassment. Bee looked on, his face expressionless.

Unicorn noticed and grinned back. "Kōzui is a somewhat new addition to my little harem. She needs to know who the master is, and realize what I want... _I receive_."

Bee remained silent, his face still within a mask of pure nothingness.

Unicron tipped a finger toward his chin and rubbed his beard in thought. "Of course, she wasn't the only femme who was spying on us. I thought I sensed quite a few femmes watching us... Or shall I say reading? Hmm..."

Bee finally broke the silence. "What the frag are you going on about?"

Unicron tutted and waved his servo. "Nothing of importance. Now, you must be wondering why I summoned you here. It has something to do with that device you oh-so-lovingly named the LM."

Bee leaned forward, his faceplates serious once more. "Yes, the LM. _What the frag_ was its original purpose? Why would a device like that end up as an Iacon relic? And why hasn't anybody questioned me about everyone's sudden interest?"

Unicron sighed and leaned back. "You see Bumblebee, there really isn't a easy way to explain this, but I... I was the one who had originally created it."

Bee sputtered. "I thought you were a god of chaos, not one of interface!"

Unicron scowled at the scout. "I did create it to have the other god interface with me, but to bring Primus down to his knees before me, helpless and consumed by his lust! So I could see the holy Primus himself in a unsightly manner and eliminate once and for all!"

Bee blinked. "So your plan was to have Primus fall in love with you, so that when both of you fought, you could strike him down and he couldn't defend himself?"

Unicron leaned back within his couch and summoned forth a purple cube of energon. "Close, but not close enough. Yes, that was the general plan, but I could not bear the idea of that idiotic Primus chasing after me like an bigger pain in the aft he already is!"

Bee tipped his head to signify he was listening.

"The LM has settings, to make sure the special pulses from it affects only the person you have target locked it upon. I made one of my artificial minions press the trigger. I wanted my minion to make sure Primus was at his weakest before I had the chance to terminate him once and for all. Unfortunately, that plan..."

Bee blinked up and the god of chaos. "It went a little haywire, didn't it?"

"Unicron buried his faceplates within his servos. "I did not realize that my minion was essentially another part of me. He was forced to interface with a lust-crazed Primus and died in the process, unable to survive the pure energy that Primus emanated...And I think you can guess whom Primus' next target became..."

Bee's mouth dropped open. "No way! You had to interface with Primus?"

Unicron glared down at the scout. As he spoke, the entire castle rumbled alongside his anger. "_How dare you imply that you filthy-"_

Bee did not even twitch. Instead he got an evil grin upon his faceplates that made Unicron himself pause. "Oh yeah, Primus totally interfaced with you. So, who was top? Huh? Who took the spike and who rammed it up who's port?"

Unicron stared at Bee, his expression blank. Bee gazed within Unicron's optics and felt his mouth drop and hit the floor. The expression within Unicron's optics were exactly like his after a long, hard, intense interface with Megatron. The scout threw his head back and howled with laughter.

"_Oh no way! Pri-Primus topped you? The All-Holy Father? HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, oh my, my T-Cog aches.._."

Bee stuffed a few digits within his mouth to forcibly stop the laughter. Unicron's expression had not changed.

"I should blast you into ash, young scout."

"You won't, because I'll be trading stories with Primus in the AllSpark about how kinky you are within the berth. _Both ways._"

Unicron groaned and pinched the ridge in the middle of his faceplates. Bee tipped his head. "Say, what happened afterwards? How did Primus react when he finally broke free of the LM's pulse?"

"He screamed and teleported back within the AllSpark. We did not see or fight until my ploy to destroy all Cybertron. He was instead embarrassed enough to send the Thirteen Primes to fight in his stead."

Bee threw his head back and screamed with laughter. "_The truth is revealed! HAHAHAHA!_"

Unicron tipped his head with curiosity. "Do they teach a different version on Cybertron?"

Bee waved his servo. "It's alright, nothing we need to know or go deeper about. Now, what about everyone being totally clueless about the LM?"

Unicron tipped his head. "I thought you would guess Bumblebee. The LM was designed to make sure that the bots affected were to remain clueless. How could I trick Primus if he were to ask unnecessary questions?"

"So, even if I told them, they wouldn't know what I was talking about?"

No, they wouldn't."

Bee nodded in thought. Unicron reached behind the couch and pulled out a certain device that had Bee gasping.

"You made another LM? But I already have the blueprints to make another!"

Unicron scoffed. "Do not believe you can simply build another one of my creations using your earth materials. I built you one in order to free me from this curse as well."

Bee froze. "Wait, you can sense..?"

"I created this myself! I know when I have been affected or not!"

Bee rolled his optics and received the LM. "Well, thanks. You're a pretty decent mech, you know that?"

Unicron laughed a short bark. "I will show you the extent of my mercy when you eventually die, Bumblebee. As you are still living I cannot interface with you in my true state. But hopefully you will be able to stay with me soon."

Bee squirmed in his seat. "I thought that the LM's effects wore off after I finish courting everyone."

Unicron shrugged. "So what? You have captured my attention once, and that's quite the accomplishment. I cannot have Primus snatching you away too soon."

Bee blinked. "What?"

Unicron snapped his fingers together and the LM disappeared suddenly. "I put the LM within your subspace. You'll be able to get it out when you have successfully kissed or interfaced with everyone that have fallen under the pulse."

Bee felt his consciousness fade and he was falling down a portal of purple toward Earth.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Bee gasped as he awoke. Another dream?

He felt something shift within his chassis and stopped as he inspected his chest and opened his subspace. It would seem as the LM were really within his body. It sat innocently with his glove box.

Bee leaned back and realized he was against a tree within a dense sunny forest. Bee looked around him to make sure that there wasn't anything wrong with his surroundings and he relaxed a tiny bit.

He should really tell Unicron to stop these stupid dream or whatever-they-were sequences. They were starting to get on his nerves.

A sudden small ping hit his commlink and Bee took a deep breath as he answered it.

"Hello? Yes, Optimus, I'm alright and ready to send my coordinates..."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

_Princess Lights: I cannot even explain in words just how totally SORRY I am for this stupid, short update. But it was necessary to continue this plot. (What plot?)_

**NEXT TIME! Bee returns to the base! How will our Autobots greet our long-gone scout? Will the smut commence? Is Bee starting to miss the Decepticons?!**


End file.
